


Kissing Like A Car Crash

by Recourse



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drunk Sex, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 20:05:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10170821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Recourse/pseuds/Recourse
Summary: Dana Ward makes a mistake.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xanfiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanfiction/gifts).



> A commission done for [Xan](https://twitter.com/xandont). Blame them.

The gym is a sea of too-close bodies, drowned in a heavy beat and gallons of sweat. Dana’s head is on a swivel, looking for any way out. That last drink had been too much and she knew it and now she needs to go somewhere _not here_ before the world spins too fast for her stomach to keep up. She spots the red EXIT sign and pushes, suffocated by the mob until at last her hands are on the push-bar and she is out, into the cool night air.

She takes a deep breath, stinging in her lungs, but her vision clears almost immediately. She blinks, eyes adjusting to the dark. All she needs now is —

Water.

There’s half a clear bottle sitting in clear view. The problem is that it’s on an occupied bench, the occupier being one Victoria Chase.

She glances over at Dana’s arrival, no doubt hearing her slamming the door open. A cigarette smoulders idly in one hand as she looks Dana over. Her short blond hair is a bit more mussed than Dana’s used to seeing, her tight dress rumpled up in spots, even her eyes have lost their usual piercing gaze.

“Don’t throw up,” she says as Dana regains some level of balance.

“I’m trying not to,” Dana says, as truthfully as she can.

“Good. Because if you throw up I’ll throw up and then there was no point to me coming out here in the first place.”

Victoria looks away, head held high. She sniffs, takes a drag off of her cigarette. Dana gulps. This is so simple. Just ask for the water.

It’s not that they necessarily dislike each other, even. They just never gelled that well and Dana...Dana steers clear of that side of the Vortex Club. But this is an emergency.

“Can I have some of your water?” she asks, deciding to be brave.

“Yeah, sure. Sit down, too, you look like you’re gonna faceplant.”

Does Victoria suddenly turn into a nice person when she’s drunk? Or, no. This isn’t nice, it’s just common decency, Dana. She’s not a monster.

Dana takes a seat next to Victoria and chugs down the remaining half of the water bottle, sighing in relief. She hands it over to Victoria, who tosses it over her shoulder without a second look. Dana would normally tell her not to litter, but something in Victoria’s face looks off tonight. It’s the first party of the year, and yet she looks downcast, face tight.

Turn it off, Dana. Don’t ask if she’s all right. This can just be a quiet moment where you spend some time with someone who’s not usually your type. Not a big deal.

Victoria sucks hard on her cigarette, burning it down until it’s useless. She crushes it under her heel. The silence between them is nearly as suffocating as the heat in the gym.

Victoria slumps forward, putting her hands over her eyes. Dana can’t turn it off, not anymore, something is wrong here and while she may be drunk she’s still Dana Ward. She’s going to be nice, god dammit.

“Victo—”

“This fucking sucks.”

Oh. Okay. So she just needed a minute to start talking on her own.

“What sucks?” Dana asks, peering at Victoria’s covered face.

“Fucking Nathan ditched me two minutes into the party to get some kind of hookup or something and it’s been hours.” Victoria drags her hands down her face. “I should go back in, but what’s the fucking point? I’m never gonna be—” She suddenly clamps her mouth shut, eyes catching on the lightpost beside Dana’s head. Dana follows her gaze.

Oh. Yeah. Rachel’s face stares out from the MISSING poster taped to the post, beautiful and smiling that enigmatic smile Dana once knew so well. Five months gone from Arcadia Bay, and always a ghost in the back of their heads. For Dana, a collage of memories, of catching herself staring, of quiet moments in the corner with Rachel’s hand on her thigh, in a closet with Rachel’s lips on her own, the taste of whiskey on their breath. A source of discovery. Someone she never really had. Just stolen moments.

Victoria looks away, hiccuping while covering her mouth. “Bitch,” she hisses.

“Rachel?”

“Who the fuck else?” Victoria spits.

“What did she do to you, anyway?” Dana asks. “You always had this weird thing with—”

“She was a fucking slut. Everyone knows that,” Victoria interrupts. “She ran around all perfect and pretty even though everyone knew she lied through her teeth all the time. And then she pulls this Paper Towns shit just to up her fucking mystery hipster cred.”

“Wait, what? You think she just ran off?” Dana asks.

“It’s just like her, isn’t it?” Victoria leans back against the bench, digging into her purse for a pack of cigarettes and lighting one. “She always loved it when people talked about her. No matter what they said.”

Dana takes a second to mull over Victoria’s words in her head. Quietly, she’d thought Rachel had hit something bad. An overdose, or the wrong guy, or even just a drunken crash someone will find in another month. But Victoria...

“She didn’t even say goodbye,” Victoria mutters around her cigarette, only barely audible.

_What._

“What did you say?”

“Shit, shit, shut up, don’t listen to me,” Victoria sputters, taking a panicked drag off her cigarette. She ends up coughing her lungs out, hacking as Dana puts a hand on her back to steady her.

After a time, Victoria’s coughs subside. She swallows, gulping in air as Dana smooths her hand up and down her spine. They settle into an uneasy silence, neither breaking contact. Dana watches Victoria’s face, red, her eyes bloodshot and threatening to spill.

“...why would she say goodbye?” Dana asks at last.

“Why the fuck would I tell you?” Victoria shoots back, though she doesn’t pull away, and she doesn’t even sound angry. Just tired. “Your best friend makes sure everything gets around.”

Dana has to let out a little laugh. “You think I don’t know how to avoid having things get out after knowing Juliet for six years?”

Victoria looks over at Dana, her eyes wide and vulnerable, fogged with whatever drinks she’d chugged down in the gym.

“Whatever happened, I won’t tell anyone,” Dana promises. “Okay?”

This moment feels so strange. Victoria’s never like this, and Dana’s never this close to her. But Dana’s not one to throw away chance meetings in the name of the status quo, and Victoria needs someone right now. Probably just about anyone could do.

Victoria takes a deep breath, staring down at her shoes. “I’ve never told anyone,” she whispers. “I think Nathan knows, but we don’t talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” Dana asks carefully, keeping her voice as soft as she can manage.

“I’m gay.”

Dana blinks. Several times, in fact. Not quite the news she expected to hear, but...well, Rachel could turn anyone’s head. Make them uncover things about themselves.

“She...she was my first,” Victoria admits, taking a shaking pull off her cigarette. “I don’t know what we were, but I deserved more than _this._ Or I thought I did.”

Dana wants to tell Victoria that she does deserve better, that maybe Rachel didn’t abandon her, but before she can marshal her thoughts Victoria says “But I don’t deserve anything, do I? She, she was the only one who ever even _acted_ like she gave a shit about me except Nathan, I know everyone hates me, they’re just scared of me, that’s the only reason I’m still in the VC, I’m just a huge fucking _bitch—_ ”

“Wait, Vic—”

“S-she said she loved me but she lied because no one could, no one even likes me, not even my parents.”

Jesus. This is way above Dana’s paygrade. Juliet will get like this during a breakup but she’s always fine the next day. Whatever’s happening here has been brewing for a long time.

But she to try. Somehow.

“You don’t even like me,” Victoria mutters, wiping tears off her cheeks. “You’re just drunk and too nice to leave. You want to, don’t you? You want to leave, like her.”

“No, wait, Victoria, I don’t want to leave.” Dana doesn’t. Not really. She’d feel shitty forever if she just...left Victoria like this.

“Why wouldn’t you? I’m fucking worthless.”

God, Dana, think fast, this is a serious crisis. “You’re an incredible photographer,” she says, very truthfully. Being in class with Victoria made you wonder why you even bothered taking this course. She really knows her shit.

“Not good enough for the galleries,” Victoria mutters. “But thanks for trying.”

“Seriously, Victoria, you have a lot of talent.”

“Rachel thought so too,” Victoria says with a hiccup. “That was how it started. Photoshoot. She told me to pose her. With my hands.”

“That sounds like Rachel, all right,” Dana concedes.

“How would you know?” Victoria asks, looking over at her.

Dana’s taken a bit aback. “I mean, everyone kn—”

“Nononono. No.” Victoria’s eyes have gotten very wide, searching Dana. “No. I remember now. How I found out she was into girls too. I saw her and you, a couple of times actually, and—”

“It wasn’t anything serious!” Dana objects. “J-just...she...I didn’t know I was bi until Rachel. It was just a couple of times. We only made out. Just...” Dana heaves a sigh. “She left an impression. That’s all.”

Victoria snorts. “Just a couple makeouts? Pffffffffffft.” She rolls her head back onto Dana’s arm. “We fucked a bunch of times.”

Dana’s mind is immediately struck with an _image_ , and she feels an embarrassing warmth shoot through her, enough to let out a nervous laugh that she tries to mask with coughing. Victoria joins her in laughter, tossing her cigarette and turning over, head on Dana’s shoulder.

Wait. What’s happening here?

“I see why she’d like you,” Victoria slurs, pulling her legs up off the ground and laying them across Dana’s lap. “Mmmbig strong arms...”

Dana does have an arm on Victoria’s back. Victoria scoots herself forward so that Dana’s hand is on her shoulder instead. Dana’s heart kicks into gear as Victoria traces her jawline with a finger.

“Was Rachel your only girl?” Victoria whispers, wide brown eyes staring into her.

“Y-yeah.”

“Mine too.” Victoria leans in. “We can fix that.”

Dana’s not keeping up with Victoria’s train of thought. But Victoria isn’t putting on the brakes, either. She wraps her arms around Dana’s neck and pulls herself up, meeting Dana’s lips with her own. And, God, Dana had forgotten what kissing a girl _really_ felt like, and it’s not like Victoria’s unattractive, and she practically scoops up Victoria in her arms automatically. It feels good, in this moment, this brief second where they’re both vulnerable, and Victoria’s _hungry._ Dana can feel it in her clenching fingers, tangled in her hair, in Victoria’s persistent lips.

Victoria pulls back, looking into Dana’s eyes. “Let’s ditch this shitshow,” she suggests, tapping against the back of Dana’s neck with the tips of her fingers. “Come back to my room.”

It’s not like Dana’s never done this before. Hooking up after a party is a good time. But it was never with a girl, certainly never with someone like Victoria. Dana’s head isn’t clear. At all. Victoria’s body is warm and on top of her and she’s offering and this has actually been kind of nice and oh wow she’s kissing her again.

Dana kisses back this time, shudders running down her spine. Victoria tastes likes cigarettes, and she finds that it’s not even unpleasant. That should worry her, but it doesn’t. Dana thinks that maybe she should take some time to examine herself but maybe later.

“I need this,” Victoria whispers against Dana’s lips, her voice small and nervous.

Dana doesn’t know how to respond to that, but she realizes suddenly that anyone could leave the gym at any time and spot them entangled in each other like this.

“L-let’s go to your room,” Dana stammers. Jesus, did she just say that? Is she going to do this?

Her mind’s not working in logical patterns anymore, all she can think of is seeing what Victoria looks like out of that dress, hearing what she sounds like, tasting her lips again, and whether she _should_ do it or not isn’t being factored into the equation.

Victoria breathes a sigh of relief and gets off the bench, wobbling on her heels. She turns and pulls Dana up, keeping one hand in hers as they head across campus in the dark. Dana can feel herself losing her balance, Victoria’s hand the only thing keeping her upright. This is happening. She’s doing this, right now. God.

The school grounds pass by her in a blur, and before she knows it Victoria’s leading her up the stairs, into the dorms, into her room. Victoria closes the door and presses Dana against it, hands on her hips, lips sealing on her neck. Dana cranes her head up to the ceiling, closing her eyes as Victoria’s hand wanders down, further, between her legs, rubbing through her jeans. She gasps, grinding down on Victoria, trying to feel something stronger, anything.

Victoria’s hands are shaky and unsteady as they reach for the hem of Dana’s shirt. Dana raises her arms, letting her take it off.

“I should be telling you to get shirts that fit better, but I’m selfish,” Victoria says with a laugh, running her fingers down Dana’s chest.

Dana’s cheeks flare, not really willing to ask what she means by that, but God, has Victoria had her sights on Dana for a while? How long?

Victoria pulls her into a kiss again, stopping that line of thought instantly. When she pulls back, she pants, “Take me.”

Dana swallows. “I—I’ve never done this before—”

Victoria grabs her hands and puts them on the straps of her dress. “It’s not fucking _hard,_ ” Victoria mutters, squeezing, and Dana gets the message. She didn’t expect to take the lead here, and she’s not really sure what Victoria wants, but it’s more than just passively accepting Victoria’s lust.

She pulls the straps off of Victoria’s arms, crouching down as Victoria kicks off her heels, sliding the dress down her legs. When Dana looks up, she’s struck by Victoria’s bare form, her beauty despite her sharp angles.

Victoria steps out of the dress and grabs Dana’s waist as she stands up, falling backwards towards the bed. Dana’s pulled with her, on top of her, Victoria biting at her lower lip. “Come _on,"_ she groans, hips rising beneath Dana, urgency in her voice. Dana clumsily tries to adjust her position, fumbles along Victoria’s radiant skin. She’s smooth and soft, nothing like a man, novel and beautiful, but so impatient. Dana can feel Victoria’s anticipation beneath her, the way she squirms as Dana’s hand approaches her panties.

Dana can feel the warmth even through them, the dampness on her fingers as she presses in. Victoria hisses and goes taut.

Victoria’s right. This shouldn’t be hard. Just do what you’d want done.

She keeps it slow at first. Victoria’s gone quiet, nothing but labored breath and soft sounds as Dana rubs her fingers up and down. Her hand tangles in Dana’s hair again, nails digging pleasantly into her scalp.

Victoria eventually raises her hips and hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her underwear, letting Dana pull it the rest of the way off. Dana hesitates, and Victoria lets out an irritated grunt.

“Did I say stop?” she asks, and Dana nods quickly and does what she was doing before, although now she can really _feel_ Victoria, her slick skin, the noises her body makes when she manipulates it.

She ups her speed when Victoria starts to squirm. Dana’s concentrating too hard, or it feels that way, but the nails buried in her neck say otherwise. Victoria mumbles something.

“What?”

“F-fuck me, Dana, Jesus, _fuck me._ ”

Dana’s eyes go wide. Who knew she’d have such a filthy mouth — well, perhaps everyone, now that Dana thinks of it. She carefully rotates her wrist, sliding just one finger down until she can press inside of Victoria. Victoria lets out a little “Oh” sound and holds Dana tight against her.

Dana works the way she knows she’d like, softly massaging her inner walls, feeling for Victoria’s most sensitive point. When she hits it, Victoria seizes. “Fuck,” she breathes, then, “Faster,” then, “Harder!” Her voice is too loud for these thin walls but Dana can’t shush her, because she hears the desperation in Victoria’s voice as she thrusts inside of her and it’s making her whole body heat up in response. She adds a second finger just to hear Victoria gasp, to feel the way her body responds.

Victoria lets go, clenching around Dana’s fingers, tremors rocking her body as she lets out a high-pitched moan. She falls back to the sheets, sweating and panting, letting go of Dana’s hair and pulling her body against her. As Dana withdraws, she feels one last shudder travel through Victoria, and then all is still.

Victoria strokes Dana’s skin after a time, eyes still closed. Dana’s not sure what to do now. Kissing her would feel right, but would that be too tender for Victoria? Where are her boundaries?

What the fuck is Dana even doing?

She wonders if Victoria’s just going to pass out, leave Dana here with her anxiety and unfulfilled lust running through her body, but then Victoria’s eyes flutter open. God, she really is pretty. It’s easier to see when her whole face isn’t stretched tight in anger or judgement.

Victoria touches Dana’s cheek with the back of her hand, her eyes soft and questioning. “Do you want...?” she asks. It’s strange to hear her so uncertain. Like she’s afraid she’ll be rejected.

But Dana won’t. And she can’t keep the groan out of her voice as she answers with a “ _Yes.”_ Victoria thrusts forward and kisses her, hands returning to the front of Dana’s body, running patterns down her arms, her sides, over her bra. Dana reaches behind her back and unhooks it, letting Victoria pull it off her body and toss it against the door.

Victoria shifts downward, kissing one of Dana’s nipples and sending a shock through her. Victoria’s hand grows bolder, back down between Dana’s legs, fumbling at the zipper to her jeans. Dana obliges, unzipping herself just enough for Victoria to rub her through her panties instead, stoking the fire burning in Dana’s core.

Victoria stops suddenly, separating from Dana. “Sit on the edge of the bed,” she orders, some of that bite back in her voice. Dana nods dumbly as Victoria crawls onto the floor, tugging Dana’s shoes off, and _oh shit that’s what she’s about to do._

Dana’s heartbeat skyrockets as she watches Victoria kneel between her legs, pulling off her pants and underwear, spreading Dana with her hands. No one’s done this for her before. Boys don’t want to and Dana was too embarrassed to ask. It’s a good thing Victoria has short hair.

The first touch of her lips, her tongue, has Dana curling her toes, knotting the sheets in her hands. God. She must have some practice. Did she do this for Rachel? That image just makes goosebumps rise on Dana’s skin.

She can’t stop the sounds escaping her, and she’s not sure she even wants to try, not the way this feels, the way it sends chills down Dana’s spine whenever she looks down and sees those brown eyes looking back up at her, like Victoria wants to make sure she’s doing good, and God, she is, she is, Dana can’t hold back.

She hunches over Victoria’s head as she comes, squeezing Victoria’s shoulders between her legs, nails in Victoria’s scalp. Victoria pulls back, leaning her head on Dana’s thigh.

Dana’s muscles release eventually, her body turning to jelly as she falls back onto the bed. Victoria stands, her knees popping. She undoes her bra while Dana watches, then crawls into bed beside her, tangling their bodies beneath the sheets. Victoria’s fingers thread through Dana’s hair until they find the tie, undoing her ponytail. It feels so intimate and tingly, Dana’s not sure what to do with it.

Victoria clings tight. Neither of them get up to turn off the light before they pass into oblivion.

 

* * *

 

Dana wakes up in an empty bed with a pounding headache and a dry throat. She tries to blink away the blurriness in her eyes, to not much avail, but she can tell Victoria’s dressed and pacing back and forth in the small space of her dorm room. She stops suddenly, glaring down at Dana.

“Jesus, finally.” Victoria’s got an unlit cigarette in one hand, the other on her hip. “You were fucking wasted.”

Dana gathers the covers over her body, feeling suddenly under examination. “What do you—”

“I can’t believe you tried to get all dyke on me. And after I let you stay in my room because you couldn’t find your keys.”

Dana’s head spins. “What? That’s not—”

“That’s what I tell everyone if you say one fucking word about this,” Victoria hisses, grabbing the covers and throwing them off Dana. “Get your clothes on and get the fuck out.”

Dana scrambles, covering herself with her hands. “Wait, Victo—”

“I will fucking destroy you, Ward. Don’t fuck with me,” Victoria warns, reaching down and tossing Dana’s panties at her face. “If I see you talking to that slut who runs the newspaper—”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone, I swear—”

“Bullshit. I can’t believe I was this fucking stupid.” Victoria keeps throwing clothes at Dana as she hastily pulls them on, cheeks burning. “You were just doing this because you wanted something, and you know what? You’re not fucking getting it.”

“Victoria, I was just, I was drunk, and you — you started it!”

“No one will believe that,” Victoria states firmly.

Dana’s mostly dressed now, zipping up the fly to her jeans and trying not to cry. “I didn’t want anything, Victoria, I—”

“Everyone always wants something. _Rachel_ ,” Victoria spits the name like a curse, “just wanted people to like her. I don’t know what your fucking game is, but you’re done. I’ll make sure everyone knows what a whore you are.”

Dana’s eyes are watering, her chest stinging, but she’s pulling on her socks and shoes out of simple survival instinct at this point. She heads for the door, not able to say anything past the lump in her throat. Another stupid, drunk mistake. Jesus, Dana. How hard is it to watch your fucking alcohol? Why do you keep letting this happen?

As soon as Dana’s opened the door, Victoria shoves her out. “And don’t come back.”

She stands in the hallway, shaking, hugging herself and thanking God that no one else is out here. She runs for her room, digging in her pockets for her keys. As soon as she’s inside she sinks down onto the bed, wanting to throw up. How could she be so stupid? She should’ve known it’d end up this way. This is who Victoria is.

A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts, and before she can say anything, Juliet barges into the room, the little jumps in her step clearly signalling that she’d finally gotten her target last night. Zach. Football player, of course. Dana had listened to her talk about him since the semester started, and it’s never hard to tell when Juliet’s gotten laid.

“Dana! Where’d you go last night?” she asks, _flumping_ down beside her. “I got worried after you had that double-shot.”

“I, um...”

“Ooh, did you get _lucky?_ ” Juliet asks, elbowing Dana. She shudders. “Oh. Bad time, huh?”

“I just...I came back home. I was too messed up. I didn’t want to be out there anymore.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself,” Juliet says softly, touching her shoulder. “Sorry, I should’ve looked out for you more.”

Victoria walks past the open door, glaring daggers at Dana.

“No, don’t worry,” Dana says. “I’m fine.”

 

* * *

 

Every time Dana sees Victoria, she remembers.

Remembers the softness of her skin, the intimacy of her touch. Remembers drunken confessions of self-hatred. Remembers a tongue on her lips, nails on her neck.

It hurts because she wants it again. Victoria had felt so different, especially after, when there was nothing but silence and body heat. She wasn’t expected to leave, that night. Until she was.

If Victoria feels the same, she doesn’t show it. Her face curls in disgust whenever she sees Dana. Rumors make their way back to Dana, usually from Juliet, who keeps telling her despite Dana not wanting to hear it. About how Dana Ward is a slut who’ll take anyone when she’s drunk enough. About her tendency towards women when she’s wasted.

At the next party, she stays in the corner. She doesn’t know why she came. Juliet hardly needs a wingman anymore, no matter how much she begs Dana to come with her every time. She swims in her own head, downing more drinks than she can count, waving off the people who ask her to dance.

A tall boy finds a spot on the wall next to her.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun,” he says, stumbling over his words.

“I’m not,” Dana answers, too deep in the evening to give a shit anymore. Her eyes keep catching on Victoria in the crowd, curdling her blood.

“Hey, um,” the boy says, “Dana, right?”

“Unfortunately,” Dana responds sarcastically.

“I’m Logan. I, uh, I kind of figured you might know me. This is embarrassing.” He rubs the back of his neck.

Dana looks closer. Right. Football team. She’s cheered for him. “Oh, yeah, sorry. Just kind of in a shitty mood tonight.”

“Is it because—”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s _because_ ,” Dana says icily. “Look, if you’re just here to—”

“Hey, woah, hold on, I just came over to say, like, I know it’s not true,” Logan says quickly. “You know, what people are saying about you.”

Dana huffs. “And how would you know?”

“I just...you were always the coolest girl on the team, you know? You’re so nice. And I know you’re not like that, because...I don’t know. We’ve danced and stuff before, God I’m stupid, I thought you’d remember me. But like, I could tell you were just having fun. Not looking for anything.”

“Hmph.”

“I always thought you were cool. Listen, you wanna go hang outside or something? Hard to talk in here.”

Dana looks him over carefully. He’s being pretty sweet. She could use a break. Juliet’s vanished. She’s drunk enough that the music is starting to hurt her ears.

“Sure,” she says, and Dana Ward makes another mistake.

 


End file.
